Live from Roanoke, Virginia this is the Raw Deal for episode #1121. Follow me on Twitter @johnreport.
A note on the banner above: The ranting text was from me on Facebook. My graphics guy Melo Man decided to put it on the banner. He added the pics and the captions, which are great.
There was a video package showcasing Ryback’s actions from last week.
Team Authority entered the ring for a promo. Luke Harper was the fifth man, so that’s the confirmation that he’s on the team. Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield and Jerry Lawler welcomed us to the show.
Hunter did a long winded promo saying nothing that was new. He basically did a promo saying that the fans needed them because they’re sheep. He claimed that if they were removed as The Authority then the inmates would run the asylum. He told stories about WCW dying when that happened. Why would the inmates run the asylum? We know it would just be some other people in power like it’s been for nearly 15 years now when Vince McMahon was doing the same thing. He also mentioned how the fans cheered Vince when he came out even though he was mean to them. This is the same guy that turned heel when he went into power and he mentions this. There’s no point to it.
They focused on talking about tonight. Stephanie and Hunter said that Team Cena will be decimated. Hunter said we will have the biggest contract signing in the history of WWE. How does that really appeal to the viewers?
Stephanie said the names of all the guys on the team: Seth Rollins, Mark Henry, Kane and Luke Harper. Harper said that he was a team player. Stephanie started to mention Ryback, so he interrupted her.
Ryback was on the ramp and he said that all he wants is what’s best for Ryback. Stephanie said she respected that. Kane said he regrets what transpired last week. She wondered if Ryback wanted to join Cena and if Cena respected him. Stephanie cued up a clip of Cena making fun of Ryback from their feud from last year. WWE remembers history when it’s convenient for them and ignore it at other times. Ryback just ended it by saying he fights for one team only. He said that he was Team Ryback. He left.
Analysis: There were barely any reactions to what he said. WWE realizes that fans cheer him for his actions, right? He’s not a good talker. Less talk. More action. It’s that simple.
Hunter said that Cena’s team will be decimated. Luke Harper will face off with Dolph Ziggler right now.
Dolph Ziggler made his entrance for his match with Harper. It took 17 minutes for that promo to end.
Analysis: There’s no better example of the staleness of WWE’s product than those long winded promos to start the show. I felt like falling asleep during Hunter’s speech and I’m not even that tired. It’s just that he said nothing of importance. These segment are tiresome. Why can’t they start Raw with a match? It would be refreshing to see that.
Seth Rollins was on commentary for this match. It was announced that it will now be an Intercontinental Title match.
Before the match could begin, Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble attacked Ziggler. Rollins went into the ring. He hit Ziggler in the face with the Money in the Bank briefcase. The ref checked on Ziggler. He told the ref to ring the bell.
Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper
Harper hit a powerbomb early for a two count. He took too long for a corner attack, so Ziggler moved out of the way and Harper went crashing to the floor. That’s the cue for the vintage floor to commercial break.
There were some nice exchanges when they returned from break with Ziggler getting a nearfall. Harper hit a side slam for two. If you’re wondering, Harper’s wearing the same gear he used to wear when he was with Bray Wyatt. Harper went for a spinning clothesline, but Ziggler countered with a superkick for two. Harper went for a Powerbomb, Ziggler fought out of it, landed on his feet and then Harper hit a spinning clothesline for the win. It went 9 minutes.
Winner by pinfall and New Intercontinental Champion: Luke Harper
Post match, Rollins got in Ziggler’s face to talk trash and then Rollins hit the Curb Stomp to knock out Ziggler. They showed replays of the pre-match attack. Harper posed with the IC Title.
Analysis: **1/2 That was definitely a surprise because I thought Ziggler was going to have a really long reign as the IC Champion. The story is that Ziggler probably shouldn’t have taken the match because he was hurt before it started. They did a decent job of telling the right story with Ziggler trying to come back. Apparently John Cena had no interest in coming out to check on his team member. What kind of captain is he? A bad one. That’s the problem with some of these storylines. Fans sit here wondering why nobody helped Ziggler. We don’t get answers. I do like Harper, so I’m happy if he gets a push out of this.
The announcers plugged WWE Network and also Grumpy Cat on Raw. I think Cole said “Grumpy the Cat” as a mistake. JBL loves Grumpy Cat. Of course he does.
They aired “A New Day” promo with Kofi Kingston. Same one that was on last week.
There was a backstage promo by The Miz and Damien Mizdow. Miz was pitching some movie idea. He asked: “What do you think?” The camera panned over to show Grumpy Cat sitting there. The cat just sat there. Miz presented “Grumpy stuntcat” that Damien had in his hand. I was tuning out at this point. Miz went back to the cat, said he was a big fan and kissed her.
The announcers were laughing about how funny it was. JBL ripped Cole for saying “Grumpy the Cat” earlier.
Analysis: That was bad. Even Sandow couldn’t save that one.
Adam Rose entered with the Party Posse. The Bunny did the entrance where he falls back onto the group. Rose was mad about it. Then he did it too. Rose is in a match up next.
The WWE 2K15 game launches today on PS4 & XBox One so they plugged that too. I hope you all win the WWE Title with some jobber.
Tyson Kidd was in the ring for a match with Adam Rose. Last week Kidd beat Rose after The Bunny accidentally distracted Rose. After the replay showed, the Party Posse continued to dance like a group of idiots.
Tyson Kidd w/Natalya vs. Adam Rose
Rose was aggressive early, but Kidd knocked him down with a kick. The Bunny was trying to get the attention of Natalya at ringside. Kidd was able to apply the Sharpshooter on Rose rather easily and Rose was asking for help from The Bunny. Rose tapped out, so Kidd got the submission win after two minutes.
Winner by submission: Tyson Kidd
Analysis: * I’m never going to complain about an easy win for Tyson Kidd. He’s one of my favorites. However, that match was more of an angle that was just pushing Rose’s storyline with The Bunny.
Post match, Rose tried to punch the Bunny. Instead, the Bunny avoided it and gave him a waistlock. He didn’t do a move. He just left.
Analysis: This angle is so boring. Maybe the reveal of The Bunny will be interesting. I have my doubts.
There was a video package about WrestleMania tickets being on sale. Daniel Bryan and Bad News Barrett were there because they’re injured. Booker T and Hulk Hogan were also there.
Bray Wyatt was shown in a video to tell us he’s coming.
Analysis: Brutal first hour. Hopefully it gets better.
Bray Wyatt entered for a promo. He said a man with nothing to lose is the most dangerous man in the world. He talked about how a man like Dean Ambrose will wake up with the same misery day after day. Wyatt spoke about how at first he had to get Dean’s attention by any means necessary, but now he comes in peace. He talked about how he knew the pains that Ambrose went through in this lifetime. Wyatt mentioned that Ambrose’s father left him as a kid, so that’s why Ambrose feels alone. He told Ambrose that he can save him. “Embrace us Dean and I will make this all go away.”
Dean Ambrose appeared on the video screen. He said he’s heard him and it’s like nails on a chalkboard. Ambrose wondered what he can learn from Wyatt. He told him he recorded this video on his buddy’s cell phone and he was actually in the arena. Of course quality of the video sure looked like a HD camera rather than a phone, but that’s okay. It’s the thought that counts.
That led to a shot of the ring where Ambrose appeared. He went after Wyatt in the ring. He aggressively attacked him, so Wyatt went up the ramp. Ambrose told Wyatt he doesn’t need any saving and that at Survivor Series, Wyatt has to worry about saving himself.
Analysis: Wyatt’s promo was good like usual. I liked the promo of Ambrose. It sounded a bit cheesy at first, but the part about recording it earlier was well done. He’s an honest babyface. The brawling part as well as Ambrose’s in-ring promo was pretty basic. I always find it weird when guys say they want to go after somebody, then the other guy leaves the ring and they never chase them. If he wants to fight Wyatt why can’t he chase him? It would add more realism to the fight.
They showed highlights from earlier where Ziggler lost the IC Title to Harper. There’s a contract signing later.
Ryback made his entrance. His pop was pretty good, but not that big.
Ryback vs. Cesaro
Want to make Ryback look good? Put him in with Cesaro, who is one of the best in-ring performers in WWE. Ryback hit a delayed vertical suplex. The announcers bickered about The Authority as Cesaro came back with a suplex of his own. John Cena was watching backstage. Ryback slammed Cesaro head first into the mat. He did corner punches, so Cesaro did the Undertaker spot with a powerbomb out of the corner. There’s no crowd noise for this match as Cesaro applied a chinlock. There was a slam by Cesaro for two. There was a sleeper hold by Cesaro. Ryback got out of it, but then Cesaro got his knees up to block a splash. A Cesaro clothesline sent Ryback over the top to the floor.
Back from break, Cesaro was still in control. Ryback made a comeback with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Ryback hit a spinebuster as the crowd woke up chanting “feed me more” for him. Ryback hit a weak looking splash off the middle rope, which JBL said looked like a falling sofa. Ryback hit a powerbomb out of the corner for two. Cesaro hit a German Suplex, then he sent Ryback into the steel post. Cesaro three rolling German Suplexes and got a two count. He hit four German Suplexes there. Cesaro hit an elbow off the top rope for two. There’s still barely a reaction. Ryback hit a press into a powerslam for two. Cesaro hit an uppercut. Then he hit a second one for a two count. Cesaro went for the Neutralizer, Ryback countered into a Shellshock attempt, but Cesaro slipped out of it. Ryback hit his Meat Hook Clothesline without getting the crowd worked up. Ryback hit Shellshock for the win after 15 minutes. There really wasn’t a big reaction for the finish.
Winner by pinfall: Ryback
There were no replays of the finish. That’s disappointing. They should really show highlights of the big moves of the match.
Analysis: **1/2 That’s about as low a rating as a 15 minute Cesaro match is going to get, but it’s not because of him. It was a competitive back and forth match. Like I mentioned, the crowd wasn’t into it as much as WWE would have hoped. If anything, Cesaro showed just how good he is by hitting a bunch of awesome moves and looking impressive while doing so. Ryback shouldn’t be in 15 minute matches. The crowd doesn’t want to see him in long matches. Listen how dead they were. He should only be in short matches. The win for Ryback was pretty obvious. It’s sad that Cesaro isn’t even in a match at Survivor Series, though.
After the match, Renee Young interviewed John Cena, who was watching that match. Cena said The Authority’s future was on the line at Survivor Series, which means everybody’s future is on the line especially the guys on Cena’s team. Cena said that he hopes to see all his teammates at the contract signing. Cena added that Ryback has made it obvious that he’s only on Team Ryback.
Analysis: We get the concerned version of John Cena tonight. Remind me again why he hates The Authority? They put him in a #1 Contender match at Hell in a Cell that he won. Poor guy!
The US Champion Rusev made his entrance with Lana for a match.
Lana and Rusev did a promo. Was their song playing for three minutes? Probably not. She mentioned people checking out photos of Kim Kardashian and she said that no American woman compares to this ravishing figure: “My body. I’m the best.” She said she had a topless photo of her own. There was a “yes” chant for it although not that loud. She showed the topless photo and it was Vladimir Putin shirtless on a horse.
Analysis: That was just mean.
Heath Slater entered to some generic music and was dressed in the colors of America. He told Lana to shut up. Slater talked about having American pride. He said the match was on: “Ding ding you son of a bitch.” The crowd didn’t react to him much, but at least he tried.
Heath Slater vs. Rusev (w/Lana)
The bell rang, Rusev gave Slater a superkick and then the Accolade submission hold ended it after about 30 seconds.
Winner by submission: Rusev
Analysis: A very short squash match. When Heath Slater is the hope for America that’s a bad sign. I guess with Zack Ryder injured for six months that it will get to pick up some of his losses. Lucky guy.
There was another backstage segment with Miz, Mizdow, Grumpy Cat and fake Grumpy Cat. Miz wanted to do a buddy comedy. Erick Rowan showed up to say “here kitty kitty” and then he took off his sheep mask. Rowan: “I want that cat.” The cat was closing her eyes and looking sleepy. Rowan grabbed the stuffed cat that Mizdow was holding. Then he left.
Analysis: The announcers didn’t even do their fake laughs for that one. Grumpy Cat falling asleep sums up some of these segments.
Big Show entered the ring for a match.
Big Show was in the ring when Stephanie McMahon entered for a promo. She promoted WWE Network within 15 seconds. She mentioned Big Show’s debut where he was billed as Andre The Giant’s son, which was WCW. She said that he was always in somebody’s shadow. Stephanie said the fans don’t decide who is the main event and that all he has to do is listen to his boss. She said that if Show steps away from Team Cena then they will make him an inductee at the 2015 Hall of Fame.
The fans chanted “no” as Show looked stressed out about it. She tried to convince him to accept the offer. He didn’t have a microphone, but we could see him say “no” to her.
Sheamus interrupted with a promo. He walked down to the ring. He said he’s proud to be a part of Team Cena. Sheamus said by this time next week that the only way he’ll see Stephanie or Hunter is if they buy a ticket. Stephanie told a story about how Sheamus had an issue with his passport. She suggested that maybe Sheamus could be deported if he had a visa issue. There was no crowd reaction to this.
Stephanie put Show in a match with Sheamus. She gave them incentive by saying that the winner of this match will have the opportunity to win the WWE Championship.
Analysis: The crowd barely reacted to any of this, which is partly the crowd’s fault because they were quiet all night and it’s on the creative team too since it’s a boring angle. This felt like another pointless segment on a show that is too long. The mention of the WWE Championship only reminded me that I miss Brock Lesnar and that this show is really hurting without the presence of the championship.
Big Show vs. Sheamus
They took their time getting into it. The commentary team was arguing about it with JBL saying it was a great opportunity while Cole and Lawler didn’t like it. Show unloaded on Sheamus with some chops and then he dumped Sheamus over the top with a back body drop. Outside the ring, Show tossed him over the barricade as the show went to commercial.
Sheamus was in control briefly, but Show came back with an elbow drop for two. Sheamus tried a comeback. Show stopped it with a boot to the face although he missed an elbow drop. Sheamus went for a shoulder tackle off the top, but Show hit him with a Spear for only two. Sheamus hit White Noise for a two, which is impressive. There’s still barely a reaction for this. Show hit a Chokeslam. Sheamus kicked out at two. Sheamus had Show on his shoulders and slammed him down. Both guys were hurting on the mat. That’s the cue for the DQ as Rusev and Mark Henry entered the arena. Rusev kicked Sheamus, so the ref called for the bell after 12 uneventful minutes.
Result: No Contest
Analysis: ** It felt like they were going through the motions in front of a crowd that had no interest in seeing this match. The effort was there and they had good nearfalls, but with no crowd reaction it just felt boring. The announcers were talking about this match like it was a big deal, but if you watched it you could tell the crowd didn’t care at all. Since Rusev kicked Sheamus first does that mean Sheamus gets a WWE Title match? I’ll just assume not.
Rusev stomped away on Show and then applied the Accolade to him. Meanwhile, Henry cleaned off the announce table. Ref Mike Chioda after shoved aside some cable on it. What a heel ref! Just kidding, but it was funny seeing that. Henry gave Sheamus the World’s Strongest Slam through the announce table. Rusev gave Show the Accolade. Show sold it like he passed out. He wasn’t moving. Rusev finally let go. The crowd booed mildly, but not that loud.
Analysis: It was a typical heel beating. Henry’s finisher really isn’t that impressive, but doing it through a table certainly makes it look more dangerous. Show did a good job of selling the Accolade submission.
As a viewer, my reaction again is how come John Cena doesn’t ever come out to help his guys? If he cares about them and wants them to be on his team then he should come out to help them. I realize that the storyline is that if he comes out he may get injured, but that’s dumb. He comes across as the most selfish “team captain” there’s ever been.
The Survivor Series Kickoff Show starts at 7pmET (one hour before Survivor Series) and Fandango’s back along with Rosa Mendes. They said “it’s the new and improved Fandango back in action.” It’s nice of WWE to remember that Rosa is actually a paid employee for eight years for some reason. Paul Heyman and Bad News Barrett will be on the Kickoff panel talking about the show.
There were replays of the heels attacking Sheamus & Show.
Brie Bella was forced to dress as AJ Lee. She looked good and skipped to the ring like AJ does. This reminds me of Kaitlyn dressed like AJ. Nikki entered after her. The story is that Nikki made her dress like this since Brie has been forced to be her personal assistant. It was announced as an exhibition match.
AJ Lee (the real one) skipped down to ringside for commentary. I think she leads WWE in all-time guest appearances on commentary. There was barely a reaction for the babyface Divas Champion.
Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella (Dressed As AJ Lee)
Nikki hit an arm drag on Brie. AJ said Brie never looked better. Nikki hit two side backbreakers. Brie actually hit an elbow attack on Nikki. That upset Nikki, so she set her up for the Rack Attack. AJ jumped on the apron, Nikki went after her and Brie won with the ROLLUP OF DEATH because nobody ever kicks out of that in divas matches. The “match” went two minutes.
Winner by pinfall: Brie Bella
Post match, Nikki yelled at Brie. AJ took her down with a Shining Wizard. Brie celebrated with a “yes” so AJ nailed her with a DDT.
Analysis: 1/4* The original Bella match stipulation was that if the loser didn’t do their job then they would be fired. Brie not obeying Nikki would mean that she is fired although I assume they forgot their own stipulation. I’ll pick Nikki to win on Sunday. I think there’s a very good chance that AJ is leaving WWE in the near future. I know it’s just a rumor, but with her husband CM Punk sitting at home it just seems like she’d rather not be there.
The announcers plugged the WWE 2K15 video game that is released today on PS4 and Xbox One. I don’t play video games anymore, but if you do then I hope you enjoy it.
The contract signing is coming up. The graphic showed Cena all by himself. Poor millionaire.
There was a promo for “A New Day” again this time with Big E speaking in front of the choir group. We saw videos for Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston that were similar, so it’s good to see that the trio will be together. Big E said that all things are possible. “A New Day is coming,” they said.
Ryback was in the locker room. John Cena said that WWE needs him. Ryback said he doesn’t take kindly to insults especially from Cena. That led to Cena saying he did say those things last year, but it was to his face and then they earned each other’s respect after they had some matches. Cena told Ryback to take a risk and control his destiny. Ryback said he’ only Team Ryback. “Thanks for stopping by, Ryback.” Cena told him that maybe Ryback isn’t hungry despite saying that he wants to be fed more.
Analysis: That segment was fine because it makes sense. That’s all I want: make sense.
There was a replay of the Ambrose/Wyatt segment from earlier. They will meet at Survivor Series.
The Usos entered for a match.
This week on Smackdown they promoted a Dean Ambrose Survival Kit. Hopefully it’s not bad like that segment before Hell in a Cell where he had a mannequin that was like Seth Rollins.
Goldust, Stardust, The Miz & Damien Mizdow vs. The Usos & Los Matadores
All four teams are part of a four team tag title match at Survivor Series. Miz started the match and Mizdow was bumping while on the apron. Lawler said it was stupid. Goldust tagged into the match instead of Mizdow, which seemed to upset the fans. The fans chanted “We Want Mizdow” as Los Matadores took over in the ring. They sent Miz outside the ring. Mizdow did a flip bump into the ring. Torito took out Miz with a dive, so Mizdow also fell down. That’s the cue for the break.
The heels were still in control of one of Los Matadores as the fans chanted for Mizdow again. Miz tagged in for his team as Mizdow mimicked everything, even chinlocks on the bottom rope. Goldust and Stardust each got their chance in the ring as the story continued that Mizdow wasn’t tagged in. Mizdow finally tagged in. Miz tagged him in the back before he could do anything and the crowd booed. The Usos tried to fire up the crowd as they received the hot tag. One of them hit a dive to take out Mizdow. Miz threw him into barricade. Jimmy was in the ring and he hit a running butt splash on Stardust. There were a few finishers in a row as they set up for the finisher. Jimmy accidentally hit one of the Matadores on the apron and Stardust hit Dark Matter on Jimmy for the win. It went 12 minutes.
Winners by pinfall: Goldust, Stardust, The Miz & Damien Mizdow
Analysis: **1/2 It was an average tag match. Once again, the crowd really wasn’t into this match other than cheering for Mizdow. The finish was done well with the faces actually screwing up instead of the heels. A four corners tag match really lacks the appeal of a regular tag match although all four teams are pretty good in the ring. If they get time at Survivor Series it should be pretty good. I can see Goldust & Stardust retaining, but I’d rather see Miz & Mizdow win them.
They showed Grumpy Cat backstage with a TV beside her. Lawler said the cat’s favorite breakfast was Mice Krispies. Lawler thought it was hilarious while JBL ripped him for it. I agree with JBL.
There was a recap of everything that happened before regarding the contract signing. The announcers said Sheamus was taken to the hospital and he’s definitely not taking part in Survivor Series.
Analysis: I’m actually surprised Sheamus has been taken out. I figured he would be a part of the team. Maybe he’s injured or maybe he’s turning heel to help The Authority win. I’m not really sure.
There was a commercial for the new Randy Savage DVD that was just released. WWE Network aired a preview of it. I haven’t seen it yet, but I will later today. He was my favorite wrestler when I was a kid. I’ll definitely be checking out that documentary feature.
Next Monday on Raw it’s Larry the Cable Guy guest starring on Raw next week. Why are they having guest hosts all the time?
Survivor Series Main Event Contract Signing
The Authority walked out for the main event. There were replays of all of Cena’s loser partners getting injured earlier in the show.
Hunter did a promo talking about how they’re going to win. He told the fans that they had no idea what it’s like for them. He spoke about how everything about them is this. She mentioned Stephanie’s great grandfather, grandfather, father and their kids. “This is the air we breathe.” Hunter looked at Stephanie saying: “We cannot lose.” Stephanie said they won’t. Hunter was all serious as he looked at his wife. He said “we won’t lose and we cannot lose” and then told Cena’s team this is their last chance to back out.
Analysis: Dear Triple H, you know why nobody cares about you losing power? Because nobody believes any stipulation that WWE ever uses since they get broken so easily all the time for many years. Now back to the show!
Stephanie took over the promo saying that Team Authority has decimated Cena’s team all night long. It also seems like they’ve been talking all night long. She introduced Team Cena.
John Cena entered on the stage. Nobody walked out with him. Cole said he had a rough night. Really? He didn’t do anything. Sounds like an easy night. I know the context with which Cole said it, but it’s not like he’s a good team leader.
Cena entered the ring alone. Hunter made a joke saying he can’t see Cena’s team. Cena said that this Sunday on WWE Network the WWE Universe are all out of power. Stephanie told him Sheamus is already in the hospital. She told Cena to give up and Cena was fired up saying that The Authority is going to lose. Cena said they took out everybody except one man. He was referring to himself.
Cena went into fired up mode. Cena: “You waltz out here every week and put these people to sleep.” A bad line in front of a dead crowd. At least he woke them up by saying he could pick four people from the crowd to team with him. There was a guy dressed like a nun and a captain. He picked a little kid too. Then there was another kid in Cena gear. Cena said the members on his tea have passion for WWE while Authority’s team is a bunch of suck ups and sellouts.
Cena sat down at ringside to say that The Authority’s team was going to lose one by one. Cena: “WWE Network is free. It ain’t even $9.99 anymore.” Yeah because of shitty segments like this. He talked about all the opponents at ringside. He called Kane a suit wearing, but kissing, bootlegging Drew Carey. Cena talked about how Harper is from the swamp and when he fails they’ll have a swamp in their pants. What a brutal line. Cena said Rusev won’t get the job done and then they’ll throw up. Cena said he has no problem feeding them Sexual Chocolate, which means Mark Henry. Cena called Rollins the bleach blonde brunette that liked latex. Cena went into the ring to tell Hunter that he’ll spend the rest of his life in WWE cleaning toilets. Stephanie slapped Cena. Cena moved the table away as The Authority faced off with him.
Dolph Ziggler’s music started up and he walked into the ring beside Cena. He was grabbing his neck as he did it.
Big Show’s music hit and he limped his way to the ring to stand beside Cena.
The creepy Wyatt Family music started as Erick Rowan walked down to the ring with his sheep mask. Harper looked stunned in the ring. Fans cheered Rowan as he got in Harper’s face after he took off the mask. That’s a pretty random babyface switch for him.
Stephanie said they only had four guys on the team while the fans chanted “feed me more” because they know what’s coming. Instead, Cesaro’s music started up. It appeared as though he was going to join their team. Then Cesaro walked over to The Authority’s side and started laughing. Cena looked on with a serious face while Stephanie laughed at him. Good trolling by The Authority right there.
“Feed Me More” started up as “The Big Guy” Ryback entered the ring. He’s on Cena’s team as we all expected.
The two teams battled in the ring with Cena squaring off with Rollins in the ring. Hunter saved Rollins from Cena. Ryback got in Hunter’s face. Everybody else was on the floor during this. Cena grabbed Triple H and gave him an Attitude Adjustment through the table.
Team Cena celebrated in the ring together while Stephanie checked on the fallen Triple H.
The contract was never signed. Way to lie to us, jerks! I’m kidding. I really don’t care.
Analysis: They spent three hours building up the idea that Cena had no team members and then it took 20 minutes to reveal that he did have a team. Even this quiet crowd figured it out.
Cena’s promo was very average. There was a lot of rambling in there. I find it funny that The Authority is so evil yet they put him in a number one contender’s match one month ago that he won and he gets a WWE Title shot because of them. I should apologize for actually remembering things from one month ago. My bad.
Erick Rowan’s addition was a nice surprise, but it was so random. We’ve only seen him in backstage segments the last few weeks. They will probably do a spot in the match where he’s against Harper that will lead to one of them getting the win, but I don’t know how well he’ll do in the face role. It just shows that they’ve done a poor job of building up the midcard too.
That ending makes me think Team Authority wins. I really hope I’m wrong on that. I really was going to pick Team Cena for the past month, but now I’m not so sure. It would be nice if The Authority was removed because this angle has been shoved down our faces so much. It’s a big reason why WWE is so stale. We got two 20 minute promos on the same show, plus that other Stephanie promo with Show. Enough already.
I’m probably going with Team Cena to win just because I really think WWE needs a new direction with a new authority figure (maybe Mick Foley in a face role), but that ending makes me thing a win for The Authority is possible. They could have Sheamus come out to help the heels win. It would make him a top heel, which would do a lot for him. However, this push for Ryback should lead to him getting the win so my pick as of now is for Team Cena to win with Ryback and Cena as the final two.
Three Stars of the Show
2. Luke Harper
3. Dolph Ziggler
There wasn’t enough Seth Rollins on this show.
4.5 out of 10
Last week: 5.5
2014 Average: 5.93
2014 High: 9 (April 7 & June 30)
2014 Low: 3 (September 1)
Last 5 Weeks: 5.5, 7, 5, 6.5, 6
It gets a 4.5 out of 10. I’m not sure if I’m being too generous with that. It was just a very boring show for the majority of it. I wrote a lot in the analysis part after the last segment, so check that out.
Survivor Series only has four announced matches. That’s not good. They’re going to need at least six or seven to fill out a card, so why not announce more? They spend so much time replaying segments over and over instead of building up other matches.
The Ambrose/Wyatt feud should have received more attention. Put one of them in a match. Do something to give it more of a big time feel. They were on for less than ten minutes.
On the plus side, at least Grumpy Cat wasn’t featured that much. I still don’t know why they have a reliance on guest stars again.
That’s all for this week. The Survivor Series preview will be posted late Friday night or early Saturday.
Check out my feature column archive that’s exclusive to WhatCulture. I just put up a new post about the new wrestling promotion Lucha Underground, there are things to forget about Survivor Series and some urban legend about the great Bret Hart.
Thanks for reading.
John Canton – email@example.com
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